Football Tryouts
by Operation Paris
Summary: Emmett and Jasper decided to try out for the Forks High School football team!AU i think? One-shot


A/N

Helloooooo! As always, I don't own twilight so I guess I better get over the retarded impression that I do…

EmPOV

I saw the posters that were hung up all around school. They read, FOOTBALL TRYOUTS AFTER SCHOOL, 2:30! YOU BETTER BE THERE! I turned to Jazzy Boy who was standin' next to me. "Hey Jazzy, you wanna try out for football?"

"Damnit, don't call me Jazzy! That is reserved for Alice only! And, ARE YOU FREAKIN' INSANE???!! Carlisle and Esme would absolutely KILL us if we even tried out for it!"

"Ewwwww!!! Dude, I did NOT need to know that! Hearing it is bad enough but you telling me about it, that's just WRONG!" I said, grossed out. It was one thing me saying this but another altogether hearing it come out of his mouth!! "Annyyywayssss, pissing Carlisle and Esme off is the point of doing this! I always wanted to do this when I was" –I looked around to make sure we were alone,- " _human_ so I don't see why I can't do it now! If we make the team there is no way that they could stop us from playing without having to use their real strength in front of humans, which you know they won't do. They wouldn't dare risk it." I said, trying to sound smart.

I could see that he was rationalizing it to himself and he finally said, "Yeah.. I guess it could work, as long as we don't use our full strength or speed, we could play."

"YES!" I yelled, punching the air.

~*~

We walked out to the muddy, Forks High playing fields. Alice was going to KILL us when she saw what we did to our clothes. Oh well, just another fun way to piss off the pixie! I'm surprised she didn't see this and stop us but I guess she was a little preoccupied with watching the Vulture Volturri. Ha, wait till they find out that that's what everyone calls them behind their backs! They really are as ugly as vultures, by vamp standards anyways. The sound of the coach barking brought me out of my thoughts, "ALRIGHT EVERYONE, DROP AND GIVE ME THIRTY!"

Everyone immediately dropped down and started their pushups. I got down and started doing pushups agonizingly slowly. It was like pure torture, not physically but, knowing that I could have been done with all thirty when I was only at 15 was driving me insane. I watched as the wimpy Fig… er… Mike Newton toppled over after only doing 10.

"NEWTON! IF YOU CAN'T FINISH THOSE PUSHUPS GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE!" The coach yelled.

Haha ickle Mikey got kicked out already. I watched as he quickly heaved himself to his feet, his face beet red, and stumbled back towards the parking lot.

Two minutes after that I had finished my pushups and looked over at Jasper with a smug look on my face. HA! I had finished before him!

"CULLEN! WHIPE THAT SMART ASS LOOK OFF YOUR FACE AND START RUNNING. DON'T STOP UNTIL I SAY SO! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!" He yelled at me.

"YES SIR!" I yelled back, saluting him. I ran off before he had the chance to yell anything more at me. I started at a jog but quickly picked up the pace to one that would be considered sprinting by human standards.

After about one lap of the football field at a sprint I was joined by Jasper. I nodded at him, trying to seem out of breath. He looked at me and rolled his eyes which meant one thing, I was either really bad at this acting thing or it was really good and he was jealous.

"Slow down!" I heard Jasper whisper so low, no one but someone with vamp hearing would be able to hear.

After about 15 minutes of running I heard the coach yell, "CULLEN, HALE, YOUR DONE! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE! NOW!"

I sprinted over to where he was standing with Jasper a couple paces behind me. We came to a halt in front of him. We were both trying to act out of breath, since a normal human would be but really, we didn't even have to breathe! Guess who would win in a 'Who Can Hold Their Breath The Longest' contest?!

"OK! I WANT YOU TO MOVE YOUR FEET IN PLACE AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND WHEN YOU HERE MY WHISTLE, DROP DOWN IN PUSHUP POSITION. WHEN I BLOW MY WHISTLE AGAIN GET BACK UP AND START RUNNING IN PLACE!"

With that he blew his whistle and Jasper and I began this retarded exercise. I looked over at Jazzy and rolled my eyes. I knew he could feel how bored I really was and he was starting to become as bored as I was. Hm… I could have some fun with this but I know he really wants on the team. I was trying to be nice.. WAIT! Emmett Cullen, being nice? I think I've been hanging out with Silly Bella too much. She was starting to rub off on me!! OH NOSE!!!! I heard the whistle blow again and I dropped like a rock into position. He made us hold it for 5 minutes then blew the whistle for us to get back up. We had to repeat this 10 times, or for about an hour before he told us we were done. When we were about 30 minutes in the coach called the rest of the guys over and explained to them what we were doing. At the end of it, there were only 5 guys left, including me and Jazz. The rest hadn't been able to get up after about 3 tries and left.

"ALRIGHT! YOUR DONE! MEET BACK HERE TOMORROW AND WE START PRACTICE! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!"

Wow, that is one hell of a coach but I guess that's why we have the best high school football team in the, uhm.. where do we live again… oh well, the whole state of Washington.

"Man! I am SO glad you talked me in to this! I forgot how much fun it was to actually compete against people who aren't your family!" Jasper said excitedly. He looked down and groaned. He was completely covered in mud. "Alice is going to kill me! Why did I have to choose these clothes?! WHY??!!!"

"Yup! One more way to thoroughly piss off the fashion obsessed pixie!" I told him happily.

He just looked at me and groaned.

"I'm going to run home and come back for the car later. I wouldn't want to get this mud on Bellatrix!!" I told him, quite proud of actually naming my car.

"Did you seriously name your car?! AFTER A HARRY POTTER CHARACTER?!" Jasper yelled.

"yes, yes I did. Do you have a problem with that?" I asked, pretending to crack my knuckles ominously. His eyes widened the tiniest fraction of a bit and took off running as fast as he could. The whole way home I was two steps behind him and when we finally got home we came to a sudden halt. We looked at each other and without talking, proceeded-woah, how do I know all these big words?- to walk into the house. We were met with glares from 5 angry vampires and 1 seriously pissed human.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TWO _IDIOTS_ THINKING?!" Rosalie yelled at us. I flinched. She was gonna be pissed tonight…

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE CLOTHES???!" Alice screamed, falling to the floor dramatically.

"Emmett, Jasper, would you care to explain your very irresponsible actions?" Esme asked us quietly. Uh oh, she was mad too even though she wasn't yelling. But I think she was more disappointed. Carlisle just looked at us and folded his arms.

I jumped, yes jumped when Bella yelled, "DAMNIT YOU TWO! WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR IDIOCY??!! FOR CHRISTS SAKE, YOU WERE TRYING OUT FOR A _HUMAN_ FOOTBALL TEAM!! ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY INSANE???!!!"

That took all of us by surprise and we all turned and stared at her.

She blushed and asked, "What?"

A/N

Reviews?? Please?? Tell me what you think!! For now this is a one shot but it might have another one shot following it, depending on if people like it or not.. so yeah.. PEACE OUT DUDES!!

xxMidnightWriterxx


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